Ryan treats me well. He is caring and patient and pays attention to things about me that I didn’t even realize were significant to other people. For example, he knows that I hate to drive at night, how I take my coffee, when garbage is picked up, and how long it’s been since I had an oil change on my car.
After spending so many years doing everything myself, I never expected to have someone who cared about me and did nice things to show that they cared. This was something totally new to me and at times it was challenging and sometimes it made me uncomfortable. However, at the same time, it was a peaceful experience.
Before I realized it, Ava was the first to recognize that Ryan had made a difference in my daily life.
Ava, for whatever reason, did not like Ryan from the beginning.
At first, I rationalized that her feelings about Ryan were the typical reactions of a teenage girl. I figured that because of her lingering loyalty to her father (who had passed away) or fear of change, her mood was understandable.
As time went by, I noticed Ava’s behavior toward Ryan changing. For example, Ava used to spend time in the kitchen after school until she stopped hanging around at all. Ava also stopped watching movies with Ryan and I on Friday nights.
Ava stopped coming into the house when Ryan pulled into the driveway. She would remember that she needed to do her homework or she would come up with excuses to stay upstairs.
It is very rare for a teenager to accept change.
I knew that Ava was not being moody. I started to think that Ava may have been taking notes on Ryan. She seemed to be studying him as if she were trying to determine something about him.
One evening Ryan came over and brought dinner from Ava’s favorite burger restaurant. Normally she would have been over the moon.Instead of showing her appreciation for what I prepared, she grabbed her food and went upstairs.
After she left, Ryan looked to me.
“Did I mess up?” he asked.
“No,” was my fast response, “she just needs time to adjust.”
More excuses filled my mind about the reasons she did not want to be around Ryan.
She misses the way things were before.
In time, she will come around.
The truth was my child had never been as mean as she was to Ryan.
A couple of nights later, after Ryan had left for the day, I was folding laundry when I heard Ava’s soft voice outside my bedroom door.
“Mama, please don’t let him move in.” She stood at my door with her arms crossed and twirling the cuff of her hoodie, and I immediately felt my stomach drop.
I stopped folding towels and sighed.
“You don’t really know him yet,” I told her.
“I know enough.”
The way she replied made my stomach churn.
“What is ‘enough’?” I asked.
Ava looked down on the floor.
I thought for one brief moment that my daughter was finally going to share with me why she did not like Ryan.
Nope! She shook her head and walked away before I could say anything.
As I sat there, I was more annoyed than worried.
I convinced myself that she must be jealous or missing how things used to be.
I had no idea that at that point she had already built up fears that she didn’t know how to explain.
A week later, she was gone. She did not come home from school; I thought she had “punished” me for what I had done.I initially thought she might have left to spend time at a friend’s house and not informed me because she was upset.
I tried not to feel anxious when six o’clock came and she had not yet returned.